5 tips on raising Smart and Happy Kids

We all want the best for our children. We want them to love and be loved as they grow up, to pursue their aspirations, and to find success and fulfilment. And most of all, we want them to be happy. But how much control do we really have on our children’s well-being and happiness?

The most effective way to ensure your child’s emotional well-being for the rest of his life is to make him feel connected to you, other family members, teachers, friends, neighbours, and even pets. The key to happiness is having a connected childhood, and the key to forming human connections is emotional intelligence.

Here are 5 tips (from my experience!) on how to raise smart and happy kids:

1. Build your kid’s emotional intelligence

As a parent, you have the responsibility to help your child develop his intelligence. As parents, we often equal intelligence to academic intelligence, but it isn’t the only kind of intellect that matters.

Emotional intelligence, or emotional quotient (EQ), is defined as a person’s capacity to correctly express and control emotions while also respecting the sentiments of others. It is a collection of abilities that children may begin learning at any age.

So, where can you start? Before you begin, you need to ready for a long-term commitment — EQ cannot be learned and developed in a day! You can start with creating an environment where your child feels emotionally secure. Treat your kid like any other individual, be natural — do not ‘dumb down’ conversations just because you think the dialogue should be different with a child. 

I have been following a method that has worked well for me. It’s quite simple, and you can try too. This is what I do with my son:

• Both of us listen to each other: To listen, we must make a conscious effort to not just hear but also absorb, digest, and comprehend what the other person saying. Listening improves your child’s capacity to understand and communicate effectively. If either of us break rules, we apologise and make amends. It isn’t that a child has to listen to you always just because you are a parent. Rather, explain your child to why you are asking him/her to listen to you. Make him/her aware of the consequences and then leave the choice to them. More ofen than not, they will start following your guidance because you made them aware of the consequences. At the same time, you also listen to them; which defintely does not mean giving in to unnecessary demands. It only means respecting their opinion and wishes which you think are well within the limits you drew.
• Both of us behave in a predefined manner: If you think you misbehaved, like lost your temper unnecessarily, do apologize. The same applies to your kid, if your kid does something wrong, he/she should apologize.
• Make sure your child can accept a ‘no’: When your child grows up and faces the real world, she/he is going to face rejections and upsets; things are not going to go as planned as always, in professional or personal life. If you have given in to everything they asked for till now, then you have set them up for a rough ride ahead. Set rules and guidelines for demands, outside of them, say ‘No.’ Let them wait and follow the rule. Might upset them momentarily, but these life lessons are going to help them immensely in future.

Stressing on it again – to make your child emotionally strong,  you should constantly introspect: Think before acting or saying something; if you think you were wrong, owe up. And if your kid did something wrong, make it known. It is a two-way process; not a one way street just because you are the parent.

2. Help your kid spend productive screen time 

All our lives revolve around devices, but kids perceive digital devices differently. They will literally grab phones and the video game joystick and stay hooked to them for hours. The key problem is that we are too busy to pay attention to our kids. The pandemic has worsened our case even further. With work from home, pressure at work and multitasking, we constantly rely on phones and TV to keep our kids occupied.

All said, we cannot completely do away with digital devices. They have become a part of our lives and our kids are already bonding with them. What we can do is divert the usage for a more positive and productive outcome. Instead of spending more time on entertainment, time-pass games and cartoons, you can encourage your kid to learn from educational videos and play educational games. You can find good resources to get started with here.

With exactly this in mind, I design my activity packs and workshops – if your child is spending screen time, it better be worth it. These are all unique and exclusive activities that boost your child’s logical thinking skills. Check my workshop details here.

3. Play smart games with your kid

Smart games are more than just learning alphabets and numbers. These games help kids become better thinkers and improves their social and verbal skills.

I’ve conducted workshops with over 100+ kids across the globe, and have found kids who play chess to be smarter than kids who don’t. The inference we are drawing here is that smart games make a difference, and you need to try them out for your kids. Apart from chess, here are some smart games you can try:

• Scrabble: Scrabble is a great mind game that keeps kids engaged for hours and helps them build their vocabulary skills. You can access the game online or download on your smartphone. But if you are serious about reducing screen time of your kid, get a Scrabble board.
• Memory game: This game is pretty old, but would kids know! The ‘memory game’, as it is popularly called, requires kids to stop, focus, think, plan and remember the theme (objects, animals, food, or anything) with which they play. This game helps boost the memory power of your little one.
• Rubik’s Cube: Rubik’s cube never stops to amuse us. The colours, the patterns, and the difficulty — it’s a full-packed fun activity. Learning to solve a Rubik’s Cube will improve your kid’s reflexes and keep the mind sharp and active, making them good problem solvers!
• Sudoku: Do kids even know Sudoku these days? I feel Sudoku is a must-play game for kids. This is a strategical game that improves your kid’s numerical reasoning and logical skills. Not just that, it also enhances their skills in observing keenly and paying attention to detail. 

I’m sure you would have more suggestions to add. Go ahead, feel free to share more intelligent and smart games that you know of and have played with your kids.

4. Foster your kid’s creativity and imagination with books

As parents, we want to improve our kid’s intelligence and cognitive skills and help them reach their potential. Did you know: A ‘left-brained’ kid is considered to be more logical, objective and analytical, while ‘right-brained’ kid is said to be more expressive, creative and intuitive? 

We need to have a balanced approach in our child’s development. Rather than tapping only the left brain forever, try to engage your kid with reading and exploring books — the key to unlock the right-side of the brain. Let me be clear, we’re talking about activity/early reader and story books here and not Chetan Bhagat fiction, kids definitely can wait for this genre.

Here are a few points on why kids need activity books:

• When they complete an activity or a task, they get a sense of pride and accomplishment, which instils confidence in them. 
• Activity books build creativity and imaginations skills. 
• Activity books encourage children to draw, think, feel and express themselves.

I have published one Activity Book for 4 to 7 year olds and it has got some amazing reviews. Check it out here.

Early Reader and Story books, including ancient folk tales, are ideal to build vocabulary and foster imagination. I recommend the Lady Bird series for early readers.

5. Set aside dedicated time for your kid

This is difficult, I can hear you! We often struggle to find time out of our busy and boring schedule to spend with our kids. But we just have to put aside all the lame excuses and set aside a dedicated time — away for Netflix, your other priorities and anything else.

What has happened in the pandemic times is worth discussing. I can see most parents feel that work from home is helping them spend more time with our kids. The ground reality is quite the opposite. Here, quality time matters more than the quantity of time. Don’t worry, you can start with simple and easy steps. Try to focus on turning your ‘set aside time’ into small, memorable moments. Make sure you are not multi-tasking here with mobile on one hand and your child next to you. This is only going to make them feel and attribute the mobile phone as an extremely ‘critical’ aspect in a person’s day to day life. Do you want this thought to be ingrained in your child’s mind? If no, then set your mobile aside. This memorable time is to laugh, play and converse with your child.  

Though it will be messy at the beginning, you will see that your little one will become smart and happy over time. They will look back and remember those “moments” and appreciate it for what they were — special.

Do you have ideas to share on how to raise smart and happy kids? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.