Did you know that, parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology? “Good parenting” starts from the moment you smile at your baby for the first time. Good parenting plays an important role in the overall development of the child – physically, emotionally, cognitively (intellectual) and socially. As a parent, you always want to give a good start to your baby and in turn to your parenting life. You nurture, protect and guide your children to become mature and independent individuals in the future. Parents always try to make decisions in the best interest of their child. There is so much being talked in the parenting world. But what is your goal in raising a child?
Most parents would say that their top most goal is to make sure the child does well in academics, and grows up to be a responsible, independent, happy and healthy individual. Have you ever thought how much time is required in working towards meeting these goals?
It involves a great deal of consistency, routine and above all a lot of hard work to achieve the above goal. It is important to understand that, each child is different, likewise each parent is also different. There is no specific way, degree or grade that will qualify you as a good parent. Similarly, good parenting also cannot be quantified. There is no unit to measure good parenting. The wish and will to become good parents, itself brings out the good parent in you.
In the parenting guide below, I will be penning down my top ten parenting tips that will support and motivate you to become a better parent in raising your children. Most of the tips are practical ones and can be thoughtfully implemented easily through practice in your routine. Do not worry if you cannot do them correctly all the time, even if you do them partly everyday the result will make you move in the correct direction.
10 Top Good Parenting tips
- Be a Good Role Model: Humans have a capability to learn by imitation. Many times, we learn, copy and incorporate similar actions into our lives. Children in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully. So, be the person, you want your child to be. Not every time of course… but most of the time. For example, if you have a mobile phone in your hand most of the times, your child will want to imitate your behaviour. Your child will follow the same attitude, behavior that you do in your daily routine.
- Teach social skills: Take your child outside wherever possible. This will expose the child to different situations in the world and stimulate thinking. He will be socially more vocal and alert. Always take a chance to teach at least one social skill like greeting, smiling, communicating, listening, visualizing etc; every time you take your child outside. Build observation skills and encourage curiosity by asking things like, why do you think we have traffic signals on roads?
- Trust yourself: Trust your mom/dad instincts. Sit back, take a break and stop monitoring your child every time. Let your child learn to spend some time alone, even if it means getting bored. We never have constant companions in life any way. Walk away when the situation gets out of control, instead of yelling. Set aside a dedicated time with your child and learn to say “no” where demands go beyound limits. Also do not accept disrespect from your child and correct him firmly. Give a chance to other caregivers to instill values and behaviors.
- Create quality time: Strengthen your bond by scheduling family time daily. Play with your children, read books, encourage daddy time and make warm memories together.
- Set smart limits: Children from a very early age starve for targets. Setting smart limits and boundaries helps them manage a confusing world safely. Do not try to fix everything yourself; start giving your child responsibilities once they are developmentally capable of doing things. They will be competent, be able to discover their passions more precisely in a controlled manner. Let make their own choices and set their own limits as they grow up.
- Praise sparingly but in the best way possible: Praising for child every time for a good deed always might not count as much as praising him/her sometimes. This may be remembered, valued and cherished forever. Be specific whenever you praise rather than just saying “you were great”.
- Love and respect your child: If your able to achieve these two key factors, only then you will be able to listen and sense your child’s emotions. Loving your child can be as simple as hugging, playing with them, saying ‘I love you’, reading them a bedtime story and listening to their issues seriously. By showing these acts of love you are actually respecting them. By doing this the happy hormone ‘oxytocin’ is released into the brain, which will give a sense of contentment, emotional warmth and calmness.
- Help your child feel secure: Creating a secure environment wherever you are, helps for a better emotional regulation. Teach your child simple ways to express themselves. For example, if they are angry, instead of throwing things around they can punch a pillow to vent out their anger. Children are grounded, more open to conversation and thereby help grow their social skills.
- Flashback on your own childhood: Often when we speak, we speak just like are parents did. Reflecting back on our own childhood helps us understand why we parent the way we do. Make a note on things you like to change when you were parented in your childhood. Mindfully do it and practice it consciously.
- Remember your parenting goal: Remind yourself about your purpose of being a parent. “Help your child thrive effectively, rather than spending time on him to survive”. Do not feel dominated due to the survival mode. Do not give up! Turn negative expressions into learning experiences and do not try to control your child.
Hope these tips help your parent- child bond grow further and deeper. Finally, I leave you with this thought. Let me know what you feel about this. Happy Parenting!
